Sunday, October 08, 2006
in my adolesence, ive told myself that life is a lie. you create whatever that goes around you to your liking, sometimes it fails, disaster strikes, and thats when you stop seeing the purpose of life. i was shit then. i failed my parents, my family, i loved my best friend (erm yah, and i mean love, loved. and best friend was a she.), got into a whole load of trouble for that, i hated school, skipped classes, failed tests, exams, and along the way, picked up a few bad habits why not - smoking, drinking, fighting (ok no, i was in the bleachers haha), running away from home, lying, the usual stuff.now, a little more growned up (ok maybe a lot to those who practically grew up with me), ive learned that life really aint all about yourself. you gotta accomodate to the people around you, live with them, sometimes even live for them, then maybe you'll get the feeling of what life really is about. ive made a lot of mistakes in the past which till now, i dont regret. in fact theyve thought me to become a much better person with more purpose in living. im loving my family more and myself less (thats a good thing seriously), i go to school no matter how much of a drag it is, work hard and pray to excel, ok i still love my best friend, but much differently from the one last time - but what the hell, i still dig girls, i still smoke - hey, its become a part of me, not just a habit ok, so its different. ok fine, i still drink occassionally, the fighting, lying, running away thing, that was so high school.
ok if you compare this with the list above, nothing much has changed has it. damn. but thats not what matters i guess. what actually matters is that ive growned up to be a lot more responsible than i used to be and a lot less foolish. ive had some help along the way, my family, my sofi especially who's always always always always been there whenever hell broke loose for me, my closest and bestest friends whos been with me since forever - dee and perks, and at one point, su and k, and more recently herwin. i look back and think now that i couldnt have done it without these people. i did it myself, but i think i did it mostly FOR these people. because i knew how much they cared for me and how disappointing it wil be if i failed them.
ok enough emo. one tree hill got me feeling all sappy. i think i need to go for my tete-a-tete sessions with sel and chups. cmon guys, be free be free! now im free! come meet me! i need a lil feelin good!
ok whatever, bye.
i am nadi; :] at 3:30 PM
7 Comments
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at 4:32 PM
said... hi babe.
that is really a long reflection about your life on a Sunday afternoon. i can't see your tears though.
reading your entry made me realise how you finally managed your biggest problem - to me, which is your family :). kudos to you. you made it. see, it's not bad afterall rotting yourself at home with your parents, siblings and maid! infact now i think you spend more time at home than at Starbucks! How great is that! :)
okay, have a nice Sunday afternoon. See you soon my ba-be!-
at 4:42 PM
i am nadi; :] said... "you made me do it!"
haha ok no lah, but just that your previous comment made me think about our past, how nice it was - im not saying it sucks now ok, its all good yah :), and that made me think even before before that. didnt help that i was so emo this morning, and it felt so nice being awake till dawn after a whole night of one tree hill.
oh and yah, i guess waking up with you screamin 'ba-bey ba-bey ba-bey!' in my ears helped a bit too. :)-
at 7:14 PM
said...
please meet up before I get really busy again. sigh i really miss you two as well. and just because i always feel happier after meeting you girls.
:)-
at 1:38 PM
i am nadi; :] said...
im leaving for uk in less than a month! so better meet up before that if u wanna order stuff!
hehe :)-
at 2:15 PM
hello wello said...
let's all meet up and have a good meal together!!
:)-
at 5:39 AM
said...
K! ur entry made me wanna cryyyy. but the part about loving your 'she' best friend made me giggle. heheh.
i miss you i miss you i miss you!
-K.-
at 6:19 AM
i am nadi; :] said...
kelllyyy!!!!
haha hmmm yea.. the best friend thing. try asking her to giggle along with us lah. its not that bad tell her, really. haha. its quite funny actually. once you get into it.
anyway, i miss you too! oh and im adopting lj. haha u still on? whereve you been anyway?