Wednesday, August 31, 2005

there used to be so much more to talk about.

now im just tripping over my every word.

save this soul. im not feeling very good these days.

i am nadi; :] at 4:40 PM


my nights seem to last longer these days.


it gets lonely at times.

my only companion is the blinking orange light at the bottom of the screen.

i am nadi; :] at 4:30 PM


that's 2 'hates' in 2 entries. 3 including this one.

feeling too much angst.

i am nadi; :] at 2:28 AM


feels like you hate me for being me.

my apologies.

i am nadi; :] at 2:24 AM


you're oblivious. i hate it.

i am nadi; :] at 12:11 AM


im stepping aside to bring more love. missing the world already. but sometimes, the world means squat to me. like now. drown me in my own paint. and print my paradise in black&white. for i have, what you cant see.

you make me feel so low on the go with a blow. ho ho.

(dont know where that came from)

no, but really.

watssup in the sky we fly so high.

nabei cibai. whatever lah.

i am nadi; :] at 12:06 AM


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

i hate the feeling of neglect. but there's nothing i can do abt it.


just let it be.

i am nadi; :] at 11:21 PM


so sel finally got herself a job, havent heard much about it though. well, its a first. even though its at some chiapalang company.

i'll be next. i hope.

work aside.

i need to shop.

and this time, my teh peng turned out pretty darn good.

quedos to me.

i am nadi; :] at 11:07 PM


i shall watch dvds.

i am nadi; :] at 1:36 AM


ive only been doing nothing for a few days and i hate it already. its makin me resent all those with something to do around me.

(yah and at the same time, i know these are the same ppl swearing at me cos they actually still have stuff to do).

yea whatever.


ok seriously. im freakin bored. and i cant take it. im so bored, that its kinda makin me unstable. help.

i am nadi; :] at 12:56 AM


Monday, August 29, 2005

its been a long time since work was this tiring.


all i can say is, you disappoint me terribly. really.

sorry. i just had to say this.

i am nadi; :] at 12:35 AM


Saturday, August 27, 2005

the heroes of yesterday.

goodness. wanted to blog abt this last night but my blogger was giving me shit.
so what happened was, my tai tai of a boss didnt drop by the cafe which meant that we had to head home by ourselves. left the cafe bout 11.30++. i had just enough money to get me home by bus. (which was 2 busses, 90 cents each). i managed to cath the bus that brings me to bedok. well technically i was supposed to alight at tanahmerah but ended up alighting at bedok cos the bus driver kinda stopped halfway (at siglap) when he realised that i was still on the bus when i shouldnt have been cos i only paid 90 cents when i was supposed to pay... well a bit more lah. so he insisted that i paid 1.10 from where i was to bedok. bloody bitch ass of a jones didnt let me top-up from what i already paid. so there goes the rest of the cash i had on me (which was supposed to bring me back on the next bus). so i alighted at bedok stadium hoping and praying that i could still catch the last bus (even though i didnt know how to get on the friggin bus with no friggin money). waited and waited and...waited. no bus came. ive never encountered such things before so at that point in time, i found it ridiculously hilarious. i cant make outgoing calls, so i tried gettting through my bro hoping he was at home (and hoping he could wake my mum up so i cld take a cab) by msging him but that smart arse of a shit was at labrodor park drinking himself mad. i had no choice but to msg din (and hope and pray) that he was awake and willing to send me home. he took awhile to reply (or rather nad wa the one who replied) but thank god he did. they did. they got me home. phew. if not for them, i would still be laughing myself silly at the stupid bust stop, too amazed by the friggin big whole in my pocket.

i am nadi; :] at 11:31 PM


Friday, August 26, 2005

i dont know where to start.

i passed vm. world, im done with tp =) yesah.

so now its the complication of what to do what to do and what to do.

what to do?

kristine said i should get married.

i am nadi; :] at 1:30 AM


Thursday, August 25, 2005

i dreamt of someone from the past last night (well actually it was more of this morning).
it was wierd. but familiar.

and now as im typing this, the memories from the dream, slowly fading from my mind. something i remembered so vividly 2 minutes ago, is now just a mist.

by the time i reach this line, my minds an empty game.

im saying goodbye to the past.

i am nadi; :] at 12:15 PM


i was looking forward to it so much. too much.

now its just a disappoinment.

i should learn not to get these hopes of mine too high up.

because they always seem to crumble down. down. down.

i'll just wait for now.

i am nadi; :] at 12:16 AM


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

i need trung nguyen.

im cashless for cigs.

now i want my coffee.

i am nadi; :] at 4:38 PM


dear friend,

dry those tears and look into the good of it. breaks my heart to watch those bittersweet moments of supressed sentiments.

many love.
many cry.
but no cries of sorrows. please?

*beeeg hug.

i am nadi; :] at 12:45 AM


Monday, August 22, 2005

youre most prob expecting to find some answers here. well let me give you a hint. its not entirely you.

the rest?

if im not over it, you'll find out (and i'll most prob bloody get over it cos i bloody have to).

i am nadi; :] at 10:18 PM


i understand your concern, and i appreciate that.

i know my priorities. but this isnt abt priorities.

i am nadi; :] at 4:32 PM


loving the colours.

it feels funny. submission for publication in less than 12 hours.

ive got nothing to do. ive never experienced having a submission and not doing anything the night before. like now. it feels funneh.


no. its not cos ive been good and finished my shit way before the deadline. in fact, im pretty much screwed still. the only reason why im not doing anything now is cos i cant do anything now. yes, i cant. cos my printers a bitch, and so is win's. and cos of that. tonight. nothingness.

tom morning.

(keeping my fingers crossed.stitched.)

i am nadi; :] at 1:55 AM


Saturday, August 20, 2005

vexing vocabulary runs right through me
the alphabet runs right from A to Z
hesitations in my mind
you got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
i'm not crazy

i'm sure i ain't done nothing wrong,
no i'm just waiting
cause i heard this feeling won't last that long.

i am nadi; :] at 8:28 PM


im one mark short for passing vm.

how fucking terrific.

i am nadi; :] at 8:24 PM


Thursday, August 18, 2005

nasi goreng sedap lah.

enak sei.

i am nadi; :] at 1:09 PM


Monday, August 15, 2005

im fucking pissed with myself, and i dont even know why.

i hate so much, it hurts.

i am nadi; :] at 12:39 AM


its hitting me again (that time of the month).

hello depression. welcome back.

i am nadi; :] at 12:28 AM


Sunday, August 14, 2005

its storming out there.

(ok, not storming, just raining like mad)


im gonna bring this issue up for one last friggin time and after that, in no mind will i have an encore.

it takes 2 hands to clap (ok, but in this case, its more than just 2. heh). the word compromise used to have much more meaning and use. if you think you, being as hardheaded than you already are, have more say to this, just because you think you have an upperhand in the language, well youre wrong hun. it takes an idiot to miss what youre trying to say. he got your frggin point. this subject happened months back, and if only at this point then you decide to study it, you might as well just wrap up and go.

*notice the yous in italics. theyre meant to emphasize you. just the way you like it. when everything is all about you. its all about you. its all about you. its all about frggin you.

i am nadi; :] at 12:33 PM


Saturday, August 13, 2005

how can you tell, if something is...

worth fighting for?

i am nadi; :] at 11:44 PM


when i need you, im close to tears.

cos youre only almost here.

i am nadi; :] at 11:12 PM


Friday, August 12, 2005


i am.

i am nadi; :] at 10:48 PM


its almost 2 am and i just stuffed pasta down my oesaphagus. i like the feeling somehow.


i am nadi; :] at 1:54 AM


tis' a beautiful language, if i must say so myself.

English, they like to call it.
sweet as a rose.

i am nadi; :] at 1:14 AM


Thursday, August 11, 2005

and so it is. i shall proceed.

i am nadi; :] at 5:16 PM


whats so complicated about life is that you'll never understand why whats right is right, and why whats wrong is wrong. its more than just expressions of emotions. because sometimes, when you let yourself out, its not just you we have to understand. its not all about you.

its superficial.

in this world there are many things that were once right, which ends up amazingly wrong. and its up to each individual to make the effort, or to take that extra step, to make that 180 degrees turn towards righteousness.

don't add up to the complications. it brings you nowhere.

respect. is a big word. treat the word with what it means.

this issue. im done for.

i am nadi; :] at 5:02 PM


cant wait for school to friggin end.

hurry now.

i am nadi; :] at 1:53 AM


oh oh oh. and if you think trust is earned through time, you're hell wrong.

i am nadi; :] at 1:44 AM


you do it oh-so-discreetly but im pretty sure i got what you meant. if you wanna drag me into this drama, cover yourself with a better testament. i will not take covenant for your mulish act. the dude's got his own mind. i dont not, i repeat, do not, feed his mind with what you think will benefit me. so if youre gonna accuse me for such revolting fashion, do get your article right before jumping to such indictation.

i am nadi; :] at 1:11 AM


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

ever wondered what it'll be like to be one of those firing lights that shoot high up in the sky?


i am nadi; :] at 9:33 PM



sidewalkers, lets start this new life. i'll get back from my lunch soon. i promise i think.


and im stuck at home on this great day of majulahs and singapurrras cos mak adi has work, which makes her place unavailable, which makes it unevitably the most boring majulah.

three cheers to singapore. hip hip. horreh :\

i am nadi; :] at 12:53 PM


Monday, August 08, 2005

apologies for the previous entry. i was reading it over and i realised that i made no bull sense at all. haha. no shit.

was itching for a longer post and that was the best my fingers could type.

i know, how lame.

shall just let it be for now.

i am nadi; :] at 10:02 PM


treat my simultaneous entries as a disposition of haltered thoughts.

i was blog hopping and i realised that 'friendship' seems to be a common interest to many bloggers this week. i dont usually give a cow about the language of friendship, but what the hey, lets follow the herd.

well it goes more or less like this. some are like PBS, always asking for money. others are like the news, with sad tales to tell everyday. some are like that one station with the foreign language; you don't understand a word of it, but you listen and watch anyway. and then there are the ones like the commercials, always changes, ever-so-annoying and only seem to be there when you are bored. but every once and a while, you meet someone who's like a really good movie of the week or that one tv show you hardly ever get to see anymore because you're so busy. My point is hold on to the friends you care about and since we don't have a remote control to mute someone or just change the channel, pick your friends carefully.

thing is, i don't exactly watch the telly. but the world's adapted into the era of reality tv anyway. so i'll just take reality and put it on screen. works well for me.

i am nadi; :] at 9:37 PM


friendship, is a test.

which i'm too lazy to study for.

but certain subjects,

dont require studying.

cos youve understood it too damn well.

youre like geography. i hate geography.

i am nadi; :] at 7:04 PM


youre that abstract in my life. understandably deep. knowingly confused. and my favourite piece of art.

i am nadi; :] at 6:50 PM


if youre trying to mock me, mock me in proper english for god's sake.

(save yourself the embarassment).

i am nadi; :] at 2:04 AM


Sunday, August 07, 2005

i ate bawang ah today. just like that sia. yuck loh.

they made me =(

next time your turn. durian.

you wait.

i am nadi; :] at 1:44 AM



was a better day than yesterday.

nuff said.

i am nadi; :] at 1:35 AM


Saturday, August 06, 2005

i left no doubt on repeat.

'twas the closest thing i had to you.

i am nadi; :] at 12:24 AM


Friday, August 05, 2005

you complete me.

i am nadi; :] at 11:48 PM


wanna see extreme racism? click it.

he's got balls for me to kick.

i am nadi; :] at 11:39 PM


in the midst of vm, i find the time to....

1.What Time is it now? 1:43am
2.-skip 2nd question. I don't like.-[sel wrote that. i didnt get to see th question]
3.Single or taken? double.and a cheeseburger.
4.What does your name mean? i cant remember.
5.Who picked out your name? i got to pick my own name.
6.What's your nickname? nadi?
7.How old are you? twenty
8.What colour are your eyes? black
9.Do you have an innie or an outie? eh?
10.What size are your shoes? 5.5 sometimes 6 when my feet grows
12.How tall (or short) are you? u tell me.
13.Honestly what do you like about yourself? my name.
14.What do you always get complimented on? my long legs and small waistline.
15. -I didn't skip vanished-[sel wrote that too]
16.What are the last four digits of your phone Number? 1234. not in order though.
17.Do you think you're cute? no way. i'm a hottie.[sel wrote that. and im agreeing to it for myself]
18.Hair colour? black
19.Do you wear contacts? yeah. sometimes.
20.Living Arrangements? im a mess.
21.Favourite Drink? for now. teh peng.
22.Favourite alcholic Drink? always up for baileys. but i cant take my liquor.
23.Favourite Month? for this year, sept. cos thats when i get my arse outta school. for good.
24.Favourite Food? no taugeh. no bawang.
25.Favourite Board Game? scrabble. definitely. oh pictionary is quite good too actually.
26.Favourite Web Site? youre looking at it. [i know, how lame]
27.Favourite Clothing Brand? i wear anything that suits me.
28.Favourite day of the Year? not today. thats for sure.
29.Favourite colour? for now. biege.
30.favourite Animal? everyone knows i cant answer that. but if i have to, it'll be a bunny in a tank. oh oh oh. does my blue rabbit count?
31.Do you have more girl or boy friends? girlfriends.
32.Who's your bestfriend? my worst nightmare.
33.Are your parents together? last i checked, yep.
34.How often do you get together with the family? hmm. when im free. i try to.
35.Do you tell your parents or your friends more? friends.
36.Anything special about your parents? its a love-hate relationship. but for now, things are good. so.. [yea yea... everythings special abt them...]
38.You're a flirt? depends.
39.You're slutty? haha depends.
40.You Mean? i can be.
41.You like someone? yep.
42.You can keep secrets? i have too many.
43.You dance in front of the mirror? hmm...
44.You've watched a porno? i guess
45.You sing in the shower? i curse my neighbour who sings in the shower cos i can hear him from mine. so no, i dont. i just hum.
46.You liked Britney Spears? who?
47.You've liked a cousin? unfortunately. [sel wrote that. ive got the same answer. unfortunately too.]
48.You've been in the opposite sexes bathroom? yep. not a pretty sight. i prefer the ladies.
49.You've seriously hurt someone? yes.
50.You've been hurt seriously? yes.
51.You swear? its part of the language. yes, i do.
52.You get your way? not always. especially not these days.
53.You're willing to try new things? i guess.
54.You've cheated on a test? i cheated on most tests.
55.You've smoked? not for the last 5 hours.
56.-another redundant question that waste my time...oh i forgot, i'm killing time anyway-[sel wrote that]
57.What are you wearing? red shirt with a yellow star. drawstrings.
58.What colour are your trousers? now? their black.
59.What are you listening to? the taps from the keyboard. the wind from the fan beside me.
60.How are you feeling? emo as always.
61.What are you doing? what does it look like.
62.What are you eating? nothing. i wish i was.
63.How many people are online? eleven
64.How's the weather? not too hot.
65.What's on your mouse pad? a plastic sheet. dont ask.
66.What books are you reading? currently 'Breaking the Rules of Publishing'.
67.How many lip glosses do you have? in use, none. not in use. i gotta start digging. i know i have a few.
68.What perfume do you use? ehhh... st michael's body spray?
69.What's in your purse? a few coins. thats it.
70.Thong or regular panties? depends. panties for now.
71. Tall or short boys? tall. then again. pretty much everyone is tall to me even if theyre not.
72.Blonde or brunette guys? i dont dig blondes. brunette. definitely.
73.Good or bad boy? pass the geeks. me me!
74.Boxers showing? doesnt matter.
75.Long hair or short hair on boys? short enough
76.What do you find annoying in a guy? annoyance is bliss. but for now, annoyance is killing me.
77.What's the first thing you notice about guys? hair.
78.What kind of cologne do you use? body spray body spray! no cologne.
79.What's in your pockets? nothing. oh wait. washed off tissue.
80.Boxers or briefs? boxers. but sometime briefs are cute.
81.Blonde or brunette girls? brunette.
82.Tall or short girls? i hate tall girls.
83.Piercings on girls? theyre ok i guess. but shouldnt overdo it though.
84.Long or short hair on girls? depends on the face. but ive always had a thing for... long brunette. glasses. fooh.
85.Good or bad girl? who me? im pretty good. heh.
86.What do you find annoying in girls? their mouths. that goes for my own too.
87.What's the first thing you notice about girls? hair
88.What was the last movie you saw? pontianak menjerit. scary loh.
89.What did you have for dinner? bee hoon basah.
90.What are you hoping for? right now, a sewing machine. oh. and world peace.
91.Have you ever fallen asleep in school? i just did.
92.What movie do you really want to see? waiting to catch willy wonka at his best.
93.Tell us about those scars? theyre bites.
94.What is your locker combo? cant remember. they gave it to me.
95.Where is your favourite place to travel? loved vietnam. thailand, cambodia... u get the drift.
96.What did you last dream about? dreamt my cousin died last night. you were there.
97. What was the last thing you ate? bee hoon basah lah.
98. If you were a crayon what colour would you be? i wanna be a bunny. a blue bunny.
99.Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? dee
100.Do you like the person that sent this to you? its cut and paste. yes, i have no life.
101. -the disappearance of another question.-i'm bored already. [sel wrote that]
102.Ever had a crush on a teacher? hell yeah. a few.
103.Are you too shy to ask someone out? just ask ah.
104.Scary movies or happy ending? i dont watch scary movies. i prefer sad endings.
105. -and it goes again-
106.Relationships or one night stands? none. for now.
107.Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla. any day.
108.Do you want your friends to write back? its up to them.
109.Who is most likely to respond? no one actuallyy.
110.Who is least likely to respond? everyone.
111.What did you do last night? same thing im doing tonight. hogging the computer. and swearing at it.
112.Anything else you want to add? i hate VM.
113.What time is it now? 2:36 am

not in a very answerable mood.


i am nadi; :] at 1:22 AM


to whom it may concern, you were most probably expecting any entry of some sort.

but there's nothing to say tonight.

cos what has to be said, has been said.

now its your turn to speak babe.

i am nadi; :] at 12:49 AM


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

i remember,

the rain.
the reckless riders gliding through the traffic.
the wet roads slithering in the dark of the night.
the roadside beef noodles.
the morning tuna (or whatever it was) baguette.
the simmering hot pho bo.
the dirtiest and the freshest and the sweetest fruit juice.
the dongs.
the dollars.
the green walls, and later on,
the maroon walls.
the bamboos.
the urns.
the duckweed.
the late night flashers screaming out their lungs.
the 4 am screams of the 'woman in white'.
the yellow star against the red.
the hammock.
the night i wont forget ;)
the smokes.
the cheap smokes i mean.
the extensive drinking of beer.
the huge portions of seafood.
the cheapest hot pot.
the sleeping bags.
the 'before i sleep reflections'.
the blackouts.
the tiles.
the doors.
the short glasses with the blue and yellow dots.
the babi which was all over.
the prank calls.
the techno in queens.
the parteh in queens.
the burning of hair in queens.
the 'amy got drunk'.
the smoking in the vans.
the soccer by the beach.
the peeping hole in the toilet downstairs.
the hanging of clothes, underwear, and everything else on everything.
the dikir barat.
the weddings.
the coffee. oh yes..
the great coffee.
the work.
the laughs.
the fights.
the company.
the friends.
the new friends.
the memories.
the heart.

the missed.

it was good while it lasted wasnt it.

i am nadi; :] at 9:50 PM


babe, you know i didnt mean it.

ala, sayang lah sayang lah =)

i am nadi; :] at 9:47 PM



i do =)

i am nadi; :] at 3:48 AM


please dont try this at home.

i tried making my own teh peng. eurgh. never knew it was so hard to make teh peng. what i got was more of like... teh cair with banyak sangat ice. gula tak rasa, teh tak rasa, susu pun tak rasa. macam mineral water ada lah. bodoh seh.

thats it. tomorrow. teh peng feast. anyone up for it?

i am nadi; :] at 12:07 AM


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

ive never slept so much.



i think im addicted to teh peng. was at home the whole day and not having it is forming some sort of psychological barrier between me and sanity (cos its making me pretty much insane now). its like tobacco insulated or something.

feeeeed meee.

i am nadi; :] at 11:36 PM


its good to ventilate whats on your mind. like we did. and i wanna thank you for that. thank you for understanding me. thank you for taking my crap. thank you babe.

now your turn pulak. mampos.

i am nadi; :] at 1:33 AM


Monday, August 01, 2005

ditched school,
did the beach.

way to go.

i am nadi; :] at 10:10 PM